Check this out:
The biggest survivor pool bust since 2010! These guys had everything set up perfectly and had it made until one sore fucking loser turned them in. Can you believe that? Of course they say that there were multiple sore losers who gave information to the authorities about the pool but you know that’s bullshit. There has to be one guy out there from Queens who bought in to the Red Pool ($100), Blue pool ($100), second chance pool ($200), and the high roller pool ($500) and lost every single one and $900. I’m going to make a few guesses on the games he lost on in each pool too which played a huge part in how pissed off he got. The quotes represent his mindset.
Red Pool: Week 1 – Patriots – this guy probably was thinking to himself, “there’s NO WAY the Pats lose at home on Opening Night when they put up the 5th banner. I hate the Pats and fuck em, but it’ll be good to use them up and get them out of the way so I don’t have to use them later on in the season when they beat my Jets twice.” After losing – “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? THE PATS LOSE AT HOME ON OPENING NIGHT? Brady fucking sucks. *Calls brother* Brady sucks man he’s over the hill. This could be the turning time in the AFC East. I lost in the Red pool but atleast I had the Falcons over the Bears in the Blue pool. The Bears fucking suck, I’m gonna bet against them all year.”
Blue Pool: Week 3 – Steelers – Saturday night thoughts: “The Bears suck, I knew they would! I’m 2-0 against the Bears this year with the Falcons in week 1 and the Bucs in week 2. The Bucs fucking smoked em last week! I’m going with the Steelers tomorrow – it’s a no brainer.” Late Sunday afternoon: “YOU’VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME! How the fuck does Pittsburg lose to the fucking Bears?!? *Throws beer glass against the wall* Fuck this shit! Now I’m done in both Red and Blue pools. Atleast I still have the high roller pool.”
High roller pool: Week 6 – Ravens – Saturday night thoughts: “Those fuckin Bears got so fuckin lucky against the Steelers. I know they suck and I’m right, they really do suck. That was their only fucking win all year and the probably won’t win another game all year. All they do is run the ball. Baltimore’s got a solid D, I’m going with the Ravens tomorrow. Fuck the Bears. Sunday afternoon thoughts: “Fuck me. The Bears FUCK ME AGAIN!!! What the fuck am I going to do now? I’m out of all my fucking pools! This is bullshit. *checks email and sees that there’s a second chance pool starting in week 8* Ok, I’m in!”
Second chance pool: Week 13 – Bears – Saturday night thoughts: “Well I’ve been doing pretty good the last five weeks. I really got a chance to win this thing. You know what? I’m gonna take the fucking Bears. They fucked me a couple times earlier this season but they’re playing the fucking Niners. The Niners only beat my Giants (guy is a Jets and Giants fan and loves double dipping) and they fucking suck. This is a perfect spot to take the Bears. Lock it in. Sunday afternoon thoughts: “FUCK THE FUCKING BITCH ASS BEARS!” *flips coffee table and 17 bud light cans go flying all over the room* *wife tells him he’s got a gambling problem* YOU DON’T FUCKING TELL ME! If it wasn’t for the Bears I’d be fucking in it for 2.5 million! Do you realize what we could do with 2.5 million!? Fuck.
Monday morning: *calls the Feds and gives them every single detail on each pool, the website, the guys running it, the address to send the money, ect. Adds one last comment before hanging up “oh yeah, and FUCK THE BEARS!”
So now these guys are going down all because this sore fucking loser had to go and turn them in. It’s really a shame. It’s a shame for the guys running this thing because they are obviously going to get jail time because it’s going to be pretty obvious if it isn’t already that they weren’t just putting in all this time to collect money, organize picks, publish them on the website, ect and not take a cut. These guys were banking off of their pools every year and in a blink of an eye it’s over. It also sucks for everyone else who is still alive in the pools and loses their money. But they were probably going to be forced into taking the Bears tomorrow anyway.
Free pick for today:
Knicks (-3) – they are taking on the 4-20 Bulls who won last night but are on a back to back. The Knicks have been off since Wednesday so they are fully rested and ready to go. The Bulls are 0-3 on back to backs so far this season. The Bulls also suck. The guy from Queens who hates the Bears also hates the Bulls because they are from Chicago too. He’s taking his Knicks tonight - heavy – but he will get revenge on Chicago tonight because the Knicks will cover.