Duke Falls to Virginia Tech: 63-64


Blacksburg, Virginia-

It was Senior Night in Cassell Coliseum on Monday. And in a back and forth game that provided everything but the kitchen sink, the Hokies of the Virginia Tech Men’s Basketball team were able to oust the #5 Duke Blue Devils. The upset basically locked in a tournament spot for VT and created a huge disruption in the ACC atmosphere.

Grayson Allen, Duke shooting guard and bastard son of Senator Ted Cruz, put up 22 points with 6 rebounds and 3 assists Monday night. You may remember Allen from his notorious cheap-shots last season when he famously tripped everyone he came in contact with. His Head Coach, Mike Krzyzewski (pronounced however the hell you feel it’s pronounced), also couldn’t pull off the win because he apparently used up all of his mystical mind powers in the first half where the Blue Devil led 33-27. I assume he compromised his team’s physical ability in exchange for his ageless existence in the second half. But it obviously didn’t pay off as Coach K was left 1 point too short when the final buzzer sounded.

On the Hokie side of the ball, the bucket count was high, but the moral highroad was higher. While VT had 3 players put up numbers in the teens, they also had a televised lesson on manners. Tech’s HC and volunteer big-brother, Buzz Williams, scolded his own fan base for insisting that Grayson Allen was a “PUSSY” during free throws. Reverend Williams picked up a microphone, and after fighting off technical difficulties, told the crowd to stop cussing. Now while I disagree with the notion that “Pussy” is a swear, I know Coach’s heart was in the right place, so I’ll allow it. Plus, I’ve got a soft spot for Good-Guy-Buzz. He’s the type of basketball coach that I would’ve had in church-league.

In the last 7 minutes of the game, VT went on a 13-3 run. With 5 seconds left on the clock, VT was able to tip in a shot and take the lead. Allen took the ball down court and pulled up from far beyond the 3-point line in the last second. His weasel face wasn’t able to make the shot, however, and Va Tech claimed victory. The fans stormed the court with joy in their hearts (as well as a new-found caution towards harsh language and a greater understanding of the power or words). Thanks Coach Williams.


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