NFL Referee Ed Hochuli Retires
After nearly 30 years of serving in the National Football League, Ed Hochuli has announced his retirement from referee work. Hochuli has been officiating games for the league since 1990 and will now pursue a career as an independent consultant to the league.
If you're a pro football fan between the ages of 9 and 95, you know this man. You have heard his excessive explanations of penalties. You can probably picture him strutting out to announce the ruling on the field. But most of all, you know this titan of the sport has pythons for arms. The man is a "Hall of Fame" caliber ref and a physical specimen at the peak of human ability.
Little known fact about Hochuli; he's a practicing attorney. Can you imagine going to stand trial and seeing that jackhammer on the other side of the isle? Might as well just plead guilty and try to get out of that courthouse before lawyer Ed Hulk-uli forces you out. He honestly should be considering a WWE career now that he's retiring. With biceps like that, he could be Intercontinental Champion within a week.
Directly following his retirement, the NFL announced that his son, Shawn Hochuli, will replace him next season. Lil baby Shawn was a backfield judge but is now going to fill in his dad's shoes (and tight fitting uniforms) as a fortified Crew Chief. So Shawn better get to the weight room ASAP if he wants to leave a mark on history the way his father did.
The sports world will miss seeing your leathery face on Sundays, Ed Hochuli, you're really a Fan Favorite. From your pectorals all the way down to your forearms, you've sculpted the league much like you've sculpted your upper-body's muscular definition. We love you Hoch. Keep the rulings long-winded and keep the curls in repetition. Enjoy AARP or Social Security or 410k or however the heck retirement works. So long, ole friend.