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Cleveland Browns. 2019 Super Bowl Champs.

In a decision that'll bring a tear to Roger Goodell's eye, the Cleveland Browns made massive headlines this week. The worst team in football added Tyrod Taylor, Jarvis Landry, and Damarious Randall to their roster. Impressively, they were able to do so without compromising either of their top 5 draft picks. This was a legit act of competence and capability by the Brownies. Is it too soon for a 2019 Dog Pound-Super Bowl tattoo?

The Browns must've gotten a little blind-pride on Friday. These roster additions came out of practically nowhere and without warning, but making these moves opens the door for a whole new dynasty in Cleveland sports. Now the team with the lowest ceiling just blew the roof off the building. Best of all, there's no way these trades come back to bite them in the ass. Forget RGIII and Brock Awfulwieler, this will be different. The Browns are on to something.

Not to forget, they've got a really weak division ahead. Pittsburg has always manhandled the AFC North, but now the Mike Tomin has got to be shaking in his Steeler-toed boots. The age of the Steel Curtain will be replaced by the era of the Brown Divider. Once anyone crosses that divider, they'll end up evacuating themselves into a bowl (that bowl being FirstEnergy Stadium in Cleveland).

And while there's no way to know which prospects they will draft this year, it is fairly unlikely both players they select will end up busting. That's a glass half full mentality. Let's assume they draft Saquon Barkley and Bradley Chubb at #1 and #4. There's a good chance one of them won't suck, and that's a victory as far as Browns' draft picks are concerned.

In what was perhaps the most important thing to come out of these signings, Hue Jackson's reputation is restored. Some will argue that he had nothing to do with these trades or argue that he's "the worst coach in the NFL," but those clowns just don't understand football. Coaching is an art. Think about it like this: Hue Jackson has 31 losses over his whole tenure at Cleveland, but Bill Belichick has had 32 losses since just 2009. Bill Belichick has lost more games in half of his career than Hue Jackson has in his whole career. Hue Jackson is statistically better. It's simple sabermetrics.

Tyrod is a Pro Bowl QB, Jarvis is a Pro Bowl WR, and Damarious is apparently is a real name. It's hard to imagine a scenario in which they lose a game from here on out. Things are finally looking up for America's team, the Cleveland Browns.


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