Robert Griffin III is Alive

As America watches Johnny Football work his way back up the ranks, and waits patiently to see if Andrew Luck will be back again soon, a man wakes on up on the right side of the bed tomorrow morning. This man takes a nice shower, bushes his teeth, and puts on his finest purple shirt. While today may have felt like just another day to you or me, a certain Baylor Bear finally can experience what it feels like to be himself again. No I'm not referring to the human meme, Shawn Oakman, nor am I talking about the 400 lb tight end, LaQuan McGowan. QB Robert Griffin (the third) has signed a one year deal with the Baltimore Ravens, as announced by the Raven's official Twitter account.

So what does this mean? Well I'm not sure about yall, but I smell a quarterback competition at M&T Bank Stadium. Joe Flacco may be elite... but he's no Heisman. We've got an Offensive Rookie of the Year and a Super Bowl MVP under the same center. If we apply that logic for comparison, then that's the equivalent of having OROTY Cam Newton and SBMVP Tom Brady on the same team. Wow. Sounds like the real winner here is the Baltimore GM and Head Coach, because that's a dynasty if I've ever sensed one before. I wouldn't be surprised if they ran a two-quarterback offense all season.

But the real question: Is Griffin ready? To which I respond: Does a Bear shit on the reputation of Art Briles? OF COURSE! No one is more built for that system than RGIII. Obviously injuries are a big concern when evaluating RGIII, but that's no worries to the team that has rag-dolled Breshad Perriman for the past few years. And rust is also something to consider when hiring a man who hasn't played football in so long, but that's exactly why they brought him onboard. Harbaugh wanted to snag Griffin before he passed the point of no return. Another offseason away from the gridiron might've been over the expiration date, so getting him now was the only rational move.

But I believe the most confidence to feel following this addition would be because of the timing. I imagine Steve Bisciotti, Baltimore Ravens owner, is sitting at the monthly Owners Meeting and smiling his big ole smile. Jerry Jones is probably yukking it up about how he could create his own league and do it better than Goodell. Robert Kraft most likely is late and holding everyone else up. Mark Davis is definitely retelling the same Al Davis stories from every other meeting. And all the while, Bisciotti is just smiling. He is thinking about the Ravens 2012 NFL Draft trade, the trade gave away his 1st round spot, and how he finally has won. He waited for a year that his team would have a good draft position and that RGIII would be available. By getting Griffin, and by drafting at the 16 spot this year, the Ravens will essentially begin next fall with two new 1st rounders. Well played Bisciotti.

There is absolutely no way RGIII fails. Unless I'm totally wrong. In which case, good luck in the XFL in 2020, Robert Griffin.